Hey it’s me, the older self. It’s quite fascinating how time flies and things just happened slowly then boom its become a reality.
Recently, I celebrated my 28 years here on earth and I’m quite emotional that each year, I’m getting older and closer to the end goal of existence. But what is life here on earth, a lot of things are happening, I know I shouldn’t be here, typing, I should go immediately to a doctor and have myself tested because my body as time flies is getting weaker. Though, I am at a prime of my existence, I am getting closer to a 30 years old me and I wanted something to happen, something magical or extraordinary.
I am just an ordinary average Jane living a provincial life and striving to work in a city but who am I really, what are the things that I really wanted. I wanted it to be simple but we are human and human are complicated creature and they are meant to be complex.
Last 26th of October, I celebrated my birthday and it was the most memorable one. My room mate celebrated it with me, welcoming it at exactly 12 midnight. At lunch, my team mate treat me with a sponsor lunch and a cake. Before I leave the office, my good friends, who stick with me through thick and thin, gave a bouquet of roses, that was another first. I was so happy that I am afraid that something bad may happen but I know I am no longer the driver of my life, I leave it up to the Almighty God above. I still believe in miracle, really.
Recently, I becoming paranoid, thinking that death is following me around(too much watching of K-Drama Black), I let the negatively of life destroy my happiness. This is what I felt when I rode the bus back to my province.
But at home, I feel safe and happy. There is no pain, just pure comfort. We celebrated it on a weekend, with my brother brought a cake. This is another first that I didn’t buy my own cake. I am so afraid really but it’s the reality of life, what ever happens, life goes on and so the generation of the future, maybe us will move forward.
Change that is only certain thing in this world. Nothing is permanent and I hate to face it but I have to face it.
Not as a 28 years old adult, not because I need to, not because it was given but because I already, slowly accepted those are fact of life.