I have a lot to give up

Lately I been hearing about a lot of cancer news and all those deadly diseases. I’m scared and freaking out as usual, getting paranoid and all with those kind of news. I mean, a super health buff person is having such disease and it was really ironic.

Now, I think, it’s time to give up on all those poultry product and dairy. I think I have to totally embrace nature and be one of them.

It’s a big decision by I think it is worth to dive in.

I will move to a plant based diet

I have to give up my love for bread and chicken and all those food.

I have to plan it perfectly and I know I can survive this after all, with those news I am really terrified.

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I can do it

And so I will do the best that I can do change my habit of being late. I will do everyday until my body follows the rythym. Yes, the arch of majestic boom, the chorus of yesterday. 
I think I can do it. 

I stayed 

Seven years ago, I started with nothing and I still know nothing. 

I started on asking, building my dreams and searching what are my dreams. I met a lot people, I cried unprofessionally and I know I hurt a lot of people unintentionally. I been through a lot of hardship, judgement and misunderstanding. People who leads me labeled me as difficult, challenging and sometimes has the attitude problem. Though what I’m happy for is that the people I work with, our client thinks the other way around. They think that I’m great and professional and really good. They perceive me in two different ways but maybe because the person who sees me never tried to understand me. They just rely on what they see in the surface, they quickly decide and judge. I know one day, this will not make sense. I will soon be forgotten, changes inevitable. That’s why I wanted to become an actor, i felt that being in front of a camera will make a lot of people remember you. But that was a selfish act. I should have given myself a great job and become more confident but maybe there are reasons… 

Just a simple one that will make us all know why we exist. 🙂 

It’s been seven years, a nervous country side girl knows nothing and up until today, she knows nothing but to love and have faith to God. 

All Glory to Him. 

Why she stayed quiet? 

I often asked myself, why I always choose to be quiet? 

Maybe Im just a lazy dork who is an anti social person who don’t believe in unnecessary noise. 

I just don’t feel the need to speak up. I’m not even shy but maybe I just don’t like unnecessary noise and unproductive talks. 

Though, certainly I love to listen. I love to listen on a production and relevant matters. I don’t like rumors and crazy foul mounted words of dirty tongues. 

I’m just plainly boring, I guess. 

I don’t have enough experience like for example, I haven’t been in a relationship, I haven’t experience those millenials kind of experiences,  I’m such an old soul. Maybe a conservative girl. 

In the end, she choose to be quiet because it’s not her league and it’s just simple doesn’t make sense to her. 

Maybe she’s un interested and maybe she is pissed off. 

She is different outside, a mysterious girl with a broken wing. 

Today

Today I cried and laugh a lot 

I cried because the past is hurting me 

I cried because I can still feel the pain and sadness of loneliness

People bullied me a lot, they say and spread rumors and accusation about me. I am not a saint either, I did bad things in the past but those are part of yesterday and my feet are moving forward.

One day, karma will come, but for now I’ll stay strong, I’ll continue to deliver even if people hurts me a lot. Even if my eyes are swollen because of the tears and sorrow of being alone. 

Maybe people with the same wavelength will appear and show up to me but for now I’ll focus on those people who believe me. I’ll focus on moving forward and just continue to praise God with my simple ways of giving. 

I just choose to smile

I feel okay today 

It’s like how everyone say

We commit mistake and be sway

We move forward and go nay 

This is life 

This is not like a swipe

To move forward and be safe 

A smile and a chance to go beyond 

I’m off today

Yey! I’m off today and I feel so lazy and frustrated. I actually ate two cup of rice and a can of century tuna afritada. I didn’t take my breakfast again and I got stuck on watching the NBA game between Celtics and Cleveland.

I ate a lot and I feel so frustrated how can I loose weight. I am a 27 years fat loser who can’t control my craving on eating habit.

The real culprit is my sleeping pattern. I been sleeping so late like 2 am for almost two months already or more. I should put a stop on this because my health is at risk. Though I am not sure how. I should really tired myself so I can fall asleep easily right?

And I decided to push my self really hard to change my lifestyle.

What is my ideal lifestyle then?

I woke up at around 5:30 am , for the next 15 minutes, I am reflecting and straight to drink my 350 ml water in my bedside table. I fix my bed and prepare my breakfast.

My breakfast is a blanch carrot and some sweet cucumber. I ate them raw and I drink a freshly squeeze how lemon water.

This take me half an hour to complete, at 6 am, I prepare myself to take bath. This take me another 45 minutes to complete.

Before I take my work clothes, I did some 15 minutes high intensity training then I ‘m off to work. I feel so tired with the session but I feel energise

I end up my routine with a 5 minutes calming meditation

By 7:30 am, I am about to leave my apartment/room to travel to work. Traveling takes about one hour and while riding the train, I again meditate and think of only positive thing.

I arrived at the office. I get some water from the pantry and start on logging in to my machine. I check on my to dos on my planner and check emails. I put some flags on the items I need to do and perform first my priority BAUs.

I will be spending 1 hour each week to do some automation of reports and another 1.5 hours to transition and upskill my team members on my reports.

I have still 6 hours to perform some of my BAU stuff. But then I realise, I need to perform another 1.5 hours for team deliverables like meetings, updating logs and ensuring capacity is up to date.

That brings me to only 4.5 hours to perform my BAU activity.

I ended up my work by 8:30 pm and arrive home at 9:30. I got home and take a warm shower, then I did a 15 minute yoga meditation. By 10pm, I’m drinking my hot lemon juice and preparing to go to bed with my book on my hand and candle at my bedside. By 11 am, I fall asleep, dreaming of another fruitful day.

It’s been quite a beautiful routine.